Adult McToys ❤️🔥
Accessorize with your boozy favorites without being fooled!
Good morning. Not wanting to sound like someone giving away their holiday plans without being asked, we will be taking a Thanksgiving break next week and will close out 2022 in style starting Dec 2. Feel free to suggest holiday destinations. The only criteria… the Airbnb shouldn’t require the carpets being shampooed prior to checkout.
Like always… before taking a break, here’s a thought for you to mull over next Friday.
Lemons are not naturally occurring. They are a cross between bitter orange and citron. So life never really gave us lemons, we created them on our own.
In the food world
🍔 Adult McToys
McDonald’s recently released their adult Happy Meals to engender feelings of nostalgia with great success. Being hard to find is an understatement with the only way for collectors to get their hands on Cactus Buddy is now through secondary markets. One seller listed a trio of toys on eBay for $300,000.95 with a claim that it ‘will sell fast”. After-all, who doesn’t like free shipping.
☕️ Empire State Latte (ESL)
The Empire State Building is getting a caffeine kick with the opening of a new Starbucks Reserve this week. Along with a variety of experiences, the 23,000 square feet space will have its own unique coffee blend. Made from beans having notes of fruit, chocolate, vanilla and unnecessary impatience, the Empire State Building Microblend is every New Yorker’s delight.
🥖 ER footlong
Subway is expanding its non-traditional business by piggy backing off an increased number of diners searching for experiences to meet their 'in-the-moment' needs. The chain will expand the smell of baked bread by increasing its brick-and-mortar presence in non-traditional locations like convenience stores, hospitals, airports and casinos (10:1 odds for free guac) through its Grab & Go platform.
Greenwashing — the food fraud
The conventional adage of “looks can be deceptive” holds true for most things in life including a trip to the grocery store. In order to boost sales, companies use a common tactic to capitalize on the environmentally conscious buying habits of consumers — Greenwashing.
Greenwashing is using certain elements or information about food such as colors, phrases and/or logos to give an impression of it being environmentally friendly and healthy. Whereas in reality, it may be neither. Simply put… Portraying the Metaverse to be better than the real world.
Most common examples
Tyson Foods: The meat production company faced a lawsuit for claiming that it works with “independent” farmers and provides employees with a safe working environment. However, the farmers were as independent as Europe is from Russian oil and the working environment was as safe as a midnight stroll in the Bronx.
Coca-Cola and PepsiCo: Bottling giants Coca-Cola and PepsiCo are infamous for giving people hangovers when mixed with alcohol and putting out vague sustainability goals with no measurable plan of action. They have been called out by environmental groups for using cheerful PR campaigns to hide their wastefulness.
Starbucks: Sometimes a company may have a legit eco-friendly item, but the production and distribution can offset it. Starbucks faced backlash for using this strategy with their straw-free lids. While the lids have helped cut back on straw waste, they required more plastic per unit, making them more harmful.
Keurig Green Mountain: According to a class-action lawsuit, the maker of K-cups was accused for marketing their single serve coffee pods as recyclable. However, the facilities capable of doing the recycling were harder to find than Nemo. Eventually, Keurig ended up paying $36 to every customer as part of a settlement.
Frito-Lay: A few years ago the chip company came out with their Natural Lay’s Potato Chips. It has an environmentally friendly-looking bag with earthy brown tones. It also uses expeller‑pressed sunflower oil, sea salt and purified air to fill up half the bag. However, the labels showed no difference from the regular Lay’s potato chips.
What can you do?
Understand true brand value: Anyone shopping at Whole Foods knows it’s probably worth a kidney for cheese where the cow has been milked by hand. However, most times people overpay because of the happy farmer selfie included on the packaging.
Look at labels, not packaging: Good packaging doesn’t necessarily mean the ingredients are all natural. Make the label your friend. It will give you the Instagram vs reality picture of food.
Exercise caution over slogans: Unlike the subject line we put out every week, do not trust the slogans you see about products. Instead, look for a USDA certification or Green Seal as a stamp of approval.
Quiz
There are many techniques to cook a turkey. Being vegetarians, we do not know any. However, we came across some pretty crazy ones while brainstorming this week’s quiz. Three of the four methods are true. Can you guess the one we made up?
Turducken: It's a chicken wrapped in a duck wrapped in a turkey.
Wasted bird: Turkey cooked with a can of beer up the hind. 🥴
Tropical cock: Turkey wrapped in banana peels, buried in a hole and slow cooked with coal.
Trashy turkey: Turkey wrapped in a food safe plastic bag and cooked in the oven.
*Answer at the bottom.
Flipping the bird🦃
Covid-19 has already cursed Thanksgiving plans two years in a row. Not to sound like a Debby Downer, but this year is marred by another sad news — the avian flu. Per USDA, more than 47 million birds (including turkeys and chickens) have died this year causing a 5% drop in turkey production from 2021.
Coupled with rising gas and “help-wanted” sign costs, the USDA is estimating that the Thanksgiving staple will cost around $1.71 per pound this season. That’s a 28% increase from last year and about a 75% increase from 2019.
While it looks increasingly difficult to put a bird on your table this year, there’s a silver lining. These alternate recipes taste just as delicious and are not going to drill a hole in your pocket.
Whole roasted cauliflower: Cauliflower with turmeric-tahini sauce, pistachios, pickled pearl onions and dehydrated Kalamata olives.
Vegan turkey roast: Made from seitan and packed with a herby stuffing. Ideal for a plant-based Thanksgiving or a Sunday roast!
Sweet potato casserole: Prep the topping and filling separately. Assemble and bake when you're ready to eat.
Scan & Go
We're just halfway into November, but it feels like we’re already up to our necks in the holiday season, with meals to prep, parties to plan, and, uh, leftovers to rearrange and reheat. Here are some boozy treats to boost our already exhausted spirits.
👜 Boozy handbag - $199
Absolut — the Swedish-born spirit brand has partnered with designer Nikolas Bentel on an Absolut Espresso Martini Handbag that, well, looks exactly like a filled-to-the-brim cocktail complete with espresso bean garnish — just pop the frothy top off and stash your belongings inside.
💅 Boozy nail polish - $7
If a martini bag is your thing, then Coors light has got you covered on your accessory game. The brewing giant teamed up with the nail polish experts at Le Chat to create a color-changing polish that goes from gray to blue when the temperature drops to a level acceptable for drinking a Coors Light.
🍝 Boozy lasagna - Free!
After your martini bag is empty and nail polish turns gray, it wouldn’t be out of the realms of reality if you wanted to top a Bloody Mary with lasagna. This holiday season, Stouffer's wants lasagna fans to literally mix the flavors of a Stouffer’s lasagna into the cocktail with the brand’s new Stouffer's Lasagna-Inspired Bloody Mary Mix.
Holiday cooking tips
Enjoy your evening!! Cook something that you’re experienced with to avoid the stress due to last minute surprises.
Plan your meal around foods that can be prepared well in advance. Lasagne never fails to satisfy the guests and can be assembled a full day in advance.
Ever wonder why restaurant food has that extra oomph when compared to home cooked food… They use more salt and butter. #normalizeholidayweight
While this simmers…
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Answer
We made up the Tropical cock technique. Thankfully, you will not have to go excavating for dinner.