🔗 Under Arrest
The latest rich people eating trend!
Good morning! To our surprise we crossed 5000 readers! As we prep our thoughts and grills for the weekend, we wanted to say how extremely grateful we are that you read Simmer. Yes, we joke around (sometimes too much), but it’s humbling to know that you set aside five minutes, whether it’s in bed, on the subway, or at work, to explore the amazing world of food with us. We may not know you, but…it kinda feels like we do.
Before you reach for the Kleenex, do note that we have a brand new section this week to double down on the fun — we pinky promise. We would love to hear what you think about it. Thank you for putting up with us and we love you!
In the food world
💰 Priority inversion: You know inflation is spiking when the wealthy are eating onion rings and pancakes over endangered species. Applebee’s has seen an increased number of Lambos in their lots, reflected by a 6%–8% increase in sales among households with $75,000+ in annual income. Conversely, they did see a decline in sales from households making less than $50,000 a year.
🥣 High on cereal: It's kind of hard to imagine Snoop Dogg ever having a bad day, let alone a bad week, and his August is definitely off to a good start. He announced that he's about to break into the breakfast cereal game with Snoop Loopz. The brightly colored,
marijuanamarshmallow filled cereal will be available “imminently”, according to the rapper.🧃 Not so juicy: The Kraft Heinz Company announced a voluntary recall of 5,760 cases of Wild Cherry-flavored Capri Sun juice drink, over concerns of a cleaning product contamination. Any drink with the manufacturer code between 0733-0900 and “Best By” date of June 25, 2023 are potentially affected.
Incar-sear-ated
The American prison system houses more than 2 million people across 1700 state prisons, 109 federal prisons, 3100 local jails, 1700 juvenile facilities, military prisons, immigration detention centers, psychiatric facilities, Azkaban... you get it. While their purposes are different, they do have one thing in common… The food is horrible.
Why is food in prisons so bad?
Budgetary limitations are a significant reason why prison food is so bad. Prison kitchens are outsourced to big catering companies (Sodexo, Aramark, etc.) and feeding that many people is expensive — specially when taxpayers are paying for it! Think of it… how many times have you opened that expensive champagne for those uninvited guests you don’t like.
What do daily meals look like?
The average meal for a prisoner costs approximately $1.19 a day. The most common food prisoners get includes bread, potatoes, beans, soup, milk. At rare occasions, when enough pennies are accumulated such that they become annoying, the prisoners are given a piece of fresh fruit. Many “meat” dishes are cut with edible soy product.
Is it always this bad?
On special occasions such as Christmas, Santa provides the inmates with some fancy food. But since most of them are not on his nice list, the so called “fancy food” just includes some sort of meat, baked or mashed potatoes and a salad.
Why should I care?
What the system provides to the prisoners in the name of food is nothing short of a public health crisis — cruel and unusual. According to various advocacy groups, prisoners aren’t asking for filet mignon dinners. All they want are fresh vegetables and fruits along with some protein instead of highly processed, unhealthy foods.
Studies show that the health implications due to the poor food quality are much worse, eventually costing more in medical expenses than better quality food itself. Bottom line: like it or not, the middle class professionals (like us) will always get screwed with taxes! Healthier food for prisoners is just a way to soften the blow.
Roast or Boast
The deepest trenches of Amazon are filled with thousands of kitchen tools, each promising to make your life blissful. In this brand new section, we want to review whether these products will deliver or not on their promise — in our way!
The egg cracker
The egg cracker claims to be:
A creatively designed solution to crack and separate eggs — because sometimes hands are not enough.
A key tool to make delicious eggs with — the “key” being the food grade plastic infused egg yolk.
Affordable with a $7.99 price tag — slightly more than a month’s eggs supplies.
Verdict: Although the one year warranty is attractive, use your money for other things. Here are some useful under $10 ways to spend it
Quiz
On the list of “How to land up in prison?”, going to a restaurant would be somewhere close to the bottom. However, there have been a few arrests made at restaurants for some really bizarre reasons. From the list below, one is made up. Can you guess it?
Using the cleaning brooms and a volleyball to play Quidditch inside an Olive Garden.
Misusing 911 by calling to complain about the large size of the clams served.
Driving a car through a window... then ordering breakfast.
Getting inspired by Breaking Bad and turning a Taco Bell utility room into a meth lab.
*Answer at the bottom
Happy 75th birthday India!
- Tarun Sehgal @taruntriedit
This week India celebrated her 75th birthday. Looking for some flavorings for the pea soup, the British first landed in India on August 24th, 1608. After 300 years of training their palates, they left with chicken tikka masala on August 15th, 1947.
This panna cotta is made to honor the Indian national flag. Jazzed up by a bed of homemade mango jam and dessert dukkah, this dessert hits all the spots. Get creative and make this with your country’s colors! Get the recipe below.
Cooking tips
The perfect hack for flat beer: A pinch of salt! The salt crystals assist the tiny carbon dioxide bubbles to get together to
create anti matterform a bubble large enough to float to the surface, reviving the head.Reverse taring is a great way for weighing ingredients without dirtying extra dishes — a lazy person’s delight. Put the entire container of the ingredient on the scale, then set it to zero and measure what you've taken out.
Freeze your ginger and grate it from frozen without peeling. Freezing makes grating those ginger fibers much easier.
While this simmers…
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Answer
Olive Garden has not reported any Quidditch match that we know of. Also, kudos to the guy who ordered food after driving through a window!