Results are out 📈
We completed a quarter and here is our finance report!
Good morning. We are pleased to announce that this week, we completed the first quarter since we started spewing our sarcasm to you. Even though it’s not required, we feel it is our duty to provide you with our earnings report for this quarter.
Our month over month revenue was fairly consistent at $0. We made absolutely no profit and have no immediate forecast of making one. Your smile and entertainment is enough for us… For everything else, there’s always Tarun’s Mastercard.
In the food world
Caked up: The Mona Lisa had an unexpected visitor. A man who disguised himself as an elderly woman in a wheelchair smeared cake on the iconic painting’s glass case, in what appeared to be a climate protest. And while we think Mona Lisa’s more of a tiramisu type of person, she continued to smile elegantly while the man was being escorted out of the museum.
Eat fresh refresh: Subway has laid out a three step process for its future growth of their 21000 stores in the US. Along with adding extra mayo on their sandwiches, the chain will:
Ensure restaurants are delivering on convenience, accessibility and value.
Remodeling nearly 9000 stores with a swanky new design.
Broadening their franchisee profile.
Mexican pizza shortages: You may have to settle for a margherita as Taco Bell announced that it’s having a hard time fulfilling orders for their Mexican Pizzas, less than 2 weeks since the dish returned to their menu. It’s not the only staple food facing shortages: Popcorn supply for movie theaters is expected to be tight during the summer blockbuster season too.
Memoirs of an epic road trip
- Tarun Sehgal
One night in 2016, struggling to go to sleep, my still-in-the-20’s brain went into overdrive (I had more grey cells than grey hair back then). Having recently watched the movie Chef, I thought, let’s drive across the United States capturing the moments in some artistic form.
An ardent Shark Tank lover with no prior extensive camping experience, I spent the next few days trying to get a buy in from the ultimate shark; my wife Ash, who can give Mr. Wonderful a run for his money. The proposal was to drive from Detroit to San Francisco and back, camping at 7 national parks along the way!
We spent the next 5 months meticulously planning this 9000 miles/3 weeks trip. We noticed good vegetarian food was hard to come by in rural America. We spoke to a lot of experienced friends (Dhaval suggested flying to an all inclusive in Hawaii instead) collecting the best possible information on the right gear, foods and recipes. All on a $400 food budget!
Fast forward to today, I realized that while I may have more ticks on my odometer, my 30’s brain isn’t that sensible. This summer, we have planned another 2000 mile road trip across 5 national parks with our toddler! As I try to plan every bathroom break, both Dhaval and I agree that there have to be others who share this anxiety about what to eat on such roadtrips.
Having gathered all this information over the years, we want to share our ultimate road trip guide with you later this month! It will include the best tools, a good grocery list and a meal plan for your next road trip. Be it a trip to fill gas at Costco or a cross country expedition, this guide can be easily scaled. You don’t want to miss it!
If you’re interesting in building this guide with us, share your best road trip hacks, go to recipes and tools by either responding to this email or leaving a comment.
Scan & go
Bilieb that!: A dream collab for teenage Canadian girls - Tim Hortons and Justin Bieber! Launching at locations across both the U.S. and Canada starting June 6, Biebs Brew is a co-created French Vanilla-flavored Cold Brew coffee that’s “made with 100 percent premium Arabica beans and is slowly steeped for 16 hours to enhance the bold and smooth flavor." That gives the roasters enough time to hear the pop star’s latest album on repeat 15 times.
Broke vegan meals
Given our grim revenue forecast and sympathy worthy credit card limits, we had to change things up. We scoured the web and found these three budget friendly recipes. The good news is that we still do not compromise on quality and taste.
Vegan Breakfast Potatoes: Best way to start the day in an animal-friendly way
Sesame & spring onion stir-fried udon with crispy tofu: Different and budget friendly and leftovers can be turned into instant soup
Buffalo Cauliflower Tacos : Double battered cauliflower bites meet crispy chickpeas, fresh salsa and a creamy dressing.
Did you know?
Do you know why boiled veggies can never fill you up? The heat breaks down their cell walls and allows some of the water to leak causing a reduction in weight.
Boston Cream Pie is as much of a pie as WWE is wresting. It is a cake composed of 2 layers of sponge cake with a layer of custard or cream filling, usually topped with chocolate.
The cake smearing of the Mona Lisa is not the only instance where food has been used to express dissent. It’s a medium used quite often against politicians. Below are 4 such events, 3 of them are true. Can you guess the one we made up?
Nigel Farage, leader of the Brexit Party getting hit by milkshake.
The deputy prime minister of Greece being hit with yogurt.
Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair getting hit by flour filled condoms.
Former US president Donald Trump getting hit by a tomato.
*Answer at the bottom
Give your spinach a trip to the spa by blanching it for a minute in hot water followed by an ice cold bath! This preserves its bright green color
Thyme and leftover pizza have something in common! Both will keep in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks if it is dry and in a plastic bag
To prevent giving yourself a free manicure, put a damp paper towel under your cutting board while using a sharp knife
While this simmers…
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We made up the event about Donald Trump. Although, he did fear such an event occurring as claimed in this interview.